I have not known what I’m waiting for.
Lights?
Done
Gift shopping?
Done
Tree?
Check
Eggnog?
Drunk
Snow?
Maybe.
Maybe that would turn on the “I feel Christmas” vibe.
But really what I’m saying is that, while I am deeply grateful for the blessings that are mine and I am happy to share them with others, I am still waiting to feel that Christmas is here.
I don’t think I am alone in this.
As much as Christmas is a time for family and tradition, it’s also a time for reflection. We reflect, with the ghosts of Christmas past, to the families we grew up in and, perhaps, the families we created, sifting through snapshots, songs, and scents, high points and, maybe, low points, to find our own Christmas story.
O Holy Night reminds me of my daughter, the angel shape of her earnest 8 year-old mouth making the perfect circle at her second grade Christmas pageant.
The smell of balsam brings me to Aunt Anna’s old red fingers – she hands each of us a freshly knitted pair of mittens wrapped with red ribbon and a pinecone cloth sachet of balsam.
Pecan Sandies – Santa’s preferred cookie.
Budweiser beer – Santa’s preferred beverage.
I could go on. The more I remember, the more I remember. And it all feels like Christmas – cold outside, warm inside, and excited.
So what is different?
It’s still cold outside. It’s still warm inside.
And I’m still excited. I have gifts to give and food to prepare and music to listen to. Family will come to share in these things. I have no doubt that we will enjoy each other’s company.
But Christmas is a bigger story for me now. Along with the joy and well wishes also comes loss and despair, whether it is from recent events or it is from the fears that we all share about the spiritual wellness of our planet. And while we may disagree on the specific formula, I do not doubt that humanity is frightened about the turmoil and suffering around us.
I want to feel Christmas. I am grateful for both old and new traditions. There will be stockings hung by the chimney with care. And this year, for the first time, my family will be giving a talent show instead of gifts at our gathering.
But this year, Christmas needs to carry the broader message, that the foundation of this holiday is one of peace and hope that arises from love. Regardless of ones beliefs, the Christmas story is most simply a message of good will towards others.
And so I’m asking everyone I know to spend a few moments, in your own way, reflecting on this.
And I will do the same.
In hopes that we can all feel Christmas.
