Women are natural jugglers.  We are taught to multi-task; in fact, we are often told we are better at it than our male counterparts.  Of course we have heard the refrain, “you can have it all.”  As women writers, we steal time for our writing away from other pursuits, which often include cultivating a home, a career, and a family.  As a woman who works five jobs and writes poetry “on the side,” I am often asked questions like, “How do you make time for your writing while keeping your marriage, money, and sanity in balance?”

Before I get into that, let me preface this by talking a bit about the last year of my life.  I was married to a wonderful man, and we planned a small (but still stressful!) wedding.  MWC Press published my chapbook of poems, The Canopy, and I promoted it regionally. I moved for the second time in three years and attended my first big writers’ conference, Sewanee.  I became a freelance poetry editor (three books I edited are going to press this year).  And, of course, I became the Poetry Editor here at Minerva Rising. 

This journey is fairly typical of the woman writer today.  We wear many hats.  The publishing world requires us to be “good literary citizens.”  To sell books one has to be “out there.”  However, I’ve found that I must prioritize to keep the creative process in the foreground.  This is one thing my MFA program finally taught me: I actually can’t do it all, all at once.  I’m actually not perfect.  I was shocked at the time.  At this point in my life, I’ve prioritized my sanity, my husband, and my writing.  All of my personal mantras follow that structure.  The list below helps to keep me on track, I hope there’s something here for you as well.

For sanity:

I must be alone and find time for the life of the mind.  Even if you don’t have much time, train your brain to let loose when you sit in that creative seat.  It will learn.

Don’t neglect the basics: sleep, eat, meditate and/or exercise.

Find your third place, away from home and work.

Do other things: I love visual arts, classic tv, and cooking.

Stop feeling guilty about taking time to write.  If anyone is making you feel guilty, have a talk with this person.  He/she probably isn’t respecting you.

Respect the cycles of: reading, writing, revising, and submitting.  Don’t try to do everything at once; it’s really not natural for our minds.

Submit a good bit.  Don’t pin your hopes on that one submission to Poetry or The New Yorker.  If you have 30 submissions out, one rejection letter feels less weighty.

For spouse:

Take time for your partner.  Be grateful for his/her support.  Give him/her the respect he/she gives you.

Take cheap trips semi-frequently, or give small inexpensive gifts.  My husband and I go on weekend jaunts around the Midwest.  I often leave a card out for him or buy him a bag of his favorite coffee.

For finances:

I try to be European.  I spend less on “things” and more on experiences.  Instead of umpteen clothes, have a few great pieces that you mix and match.  Use your local library.  Take unused restaurant napkins home.  Take advantage of free samples.  Buy generic brands.  Save money and put that money toward the priorities: family, writing, sanity.

My mentor, Anna Leahy, has a trick to finding more time to write: keep housework minimal.  I say, that oil change can wait 200 miles if you have a great story cooking.

Only take on freelance/extra that jobs you like! I only edit poetry books right now.  It’s a break for me and I really enjoy it.  I would not edit a book on soil samples just for cash.

This list is what has kept me writing and publishing after graduateschool and into my life as a professional.  What are your tips for finding time to write in an overstuffed life?  I’d love to hear them.  Have a great writing week, Minervas!