I’ve been struggling with the same issue for over twenty years. I’m obsessed with it.  It’s what I write about in my journals. I complain to friends ad nauseam about it. And it has been the topic of more therapy sessions than I care to share.  Every time I talk about it, I go into extricate details about the problems it causes and how it makes me feel. I lament about how it negatively affects my life.  And then I wonder why I can’t let it go.

Today during my quiet time, I came across a passage that suggested that our persistent problems are there to teach us something.  They can shape us into better people, but we have to shift our focus from obsessing over the problem to looking for the lesson.  Of course this is easier said than done.

Problems have a tendency to speak much louder than lessons. They are constantly yelling, “Look at me. Look at me!”  Whereas lessons are often only found in those moments of quiet introspection and thoughtfulness when we step back and take a bird’s eye view of our lives.  We have to be intentional. We have to be open.

I’m intrigued by the idea of looking for the lesson, but I’m also afraid. What if the real issue is that I need to change? My expectations? My agenda? My beliefs? My actions?  And suddenly obsessing over the problem seems a whole lot easier than holding myself accountable for being the person I need to be.

It’s funny because this applies to so many of the problems we face individually and in our world. Focusing on the issues may give us something to talk about, but it doesn’t change anything. And in the midst of all the noise, we loose sight of the ways in which our actions contribute to the problem.  This seems especially poignant to me in light of the massacre at Sandy Hooks Elementary School.

I have strong opinions about gun control and even stronger concerns about caring for those who suffer from mental illness. And yet I do nothing. What if the lesson in this latest crisis is that we can no longer afford to be silent about the issues that matter? What if it is a call to action for those of us who have waited for others to make a difference?

To be honest, I hadn’t planned to write about Sandy Hooks or gun control or mental health. I didn’t want to pile on to all the commentary that’s been inundating the news and social media. But if we want to see change in our lives and in our world, we each have to ask ourselves – what can I do to make a difference.  We have to be willing to be the change.