Tuning Into the Body’s Wisdom

We are faced with big and small choices on a daily basis. The decision to take an exciting new job that comes with a lot of responsibility, or choosing to leave a familiar long term relationship that is fraught with turmoil are examples of big decisions with long-term consequences. In addition to these major crossroads moments, we also face more minor choice points throughout the day. Should you let your kid have the toy they are begging for? Should you cook an elaborate meal or just zap some hot dogs in the microwave? Traumatic life experiences compromise our ability to move through these moments, and we can find ourselves utterly paralyzed over small decisions, like choosing a beverage from the drink case at the gas station. Or we might make more important decisions impulsively, like moving in with a partner before we really know them. We might find ourselves fluctuating between paralysis, rumination, deliberation, and impulsivity. 

Although there are plenty of strategies and tools for making choices (pro/con lists, or talking to a therapist, for example) our culture rarely sends us to the body. Rational thinking is held as a better decision maker than our guts; yet, when we’ve been traumatized and anxiety is high, rational thinking isn’t really possible. We can talk ourselves in and out of anything in that state, when in reality we are simply reacting to emotions, and backing up our reactions with words or stories. 

I was seeing a somatic (body-based) therapist once when I was in the throes of what felt like an extremely important decision. I don’t even remember what the decision was, but I do remember the torture of constant rumination. I would decide and then change my mind and then change my mind again. My therapist suggested that I visualize one option and see how it felt in my body. Then repeat the process visualizing the other option. After weeks of debilitating anxiety, I had a clear answer: when I pictured one option everything in my body was calm. I felt a sense of peace and ease, and I was totally confident that everything would be okay. When I pictured the other, everything inside of me was tight. I felt sick to my stomach and I was dissociating because my physical state was so uncomfortable. The body is often relegated to an inferior role in our cerebral culture, but in many ways, our bodies are wiser. The trick is tuning in, and trusting what you find there. 

This connection to the wisdom of our bodies is something that takes time to cultivate, especially for those of us who have experienced physical trauma and don’t necessarily trust our bodies. One way of getting started is to simply tune in and notice what is there in lower stakes moments. What do you notice when you pick up that pack of hot dogs? Is it liberated? When you picture yourself saying no to the toy your child wants, does it feel like your brain and belly are being gripped in a vise? And what does that feeling mean? There may not be a clear answer because connecting with inner wisdom is a journey with many twists and turns and dead ends and bumps along the path. Try the activity my somatic therapist gave me as a journaling prompt: picture one possibly and write for two minutes about everything your body tells you. Now write for two more minutes about a different possibility. Write to debrief: what did you learn? Was there a clear winner? Did you find more questions than answers? Perhaps a possibility you hadn’t yet considered emerged. Feel free to drop me a line and let me know how this went for you.